Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Shovel-Ready Jobs

I think I actually spotted one of those elusive “shovel-ready jobs” recently. I was driving down I-75 on my way to vacation in Florida. As I crested a hill, I could see in the distance a strange, circular sign on the side of the road. It caught my attention because most interstate signs are square or rectangular…this one was round and rather small. As I got closer, I could clearly read “Recovery.gov” on the sign and immediately realized why traffic was slowing…we were entering a construction zone.

I have to admit, I was rather irritated. I know road construction is an ongoing necessity in life but the slow-downs (especially when you’re trying to get to sunny Florida) are still annoying. I’ve got no problem slowing down for the safety of myself, other drivers and especially the workers but when no workers are present, it just grates on my nerves.

And that was exactly the situation in this case…not a person in sight. Granted, it was a Saturday but you usually see road workers on the weekends and even in the middle of the night. That is, of course, if the job isn’t being paid for by the federal government with the “Stimulus” money. “9-5 baby, let’s keep that road shut down as long as possible.” Besides, isn’t making orange traffic barrels a “green” job too? I guess for every worker hired to pave the road, there is a worker hired to make a barrel. The brilliance of exponential job creation was apparently part of this reformative plan all along.

As I drove through the “ghost-town” construction zone, something started to occur to me. “Hey, somethings not right here”, I said to myself. After another mile or so, I finally realized what it was. I was driving on the side that hadn’t been paved yet and I’ll be darned if the ride wasn’t as smooth as a baby’s backside. That’s right folks…the road didn’t even need to be paved in the first place. Now let me make clear that I am not a Civil Engineer. I’m no expert in asphalt or concrete. But I have been driving for nearly 25 years, so I think I can tell the difference between a good road and a bad road. And this one? As far as roads go, I would give it a 9.5...before the stimulus-funded paving.

According to the government, only about 10% of the stimulus money has actually been released. I’m sure we have all seen the lists of just some of the “shovel-ready jobs” this money has gone toward. Recently I read that some of the money went to Oregon, netting the recipients of the “shovel-ready jobs” a total of about 1 week of work. Of course, the government counts that as a “created job”. I suppose if I hired one of those "Will Work For Food" guys to clean my gutters for a day I would have created a job too. No insurance, no retirement, no benefits and no job next week but it’s still a “created job”. It may have only been a week of work but one thing is for sure…each worker sure as heck paid a week’s worth of income taxes. I suppose if they re-hired the exact same people 3 weeks later for a week of work that would count as a second “created job”. With that math, you could create those 2 million jobs in only a year by only hiring a little over 150,000 people and working them 1 week out of each month for 12 months. Tricky, tricky.

Ah, yes…your federal government at work using your money and your kid’s money and your grandkid’s money to create a "shovel-ready'", 1 week, Monday –Friday, 9-5 job with no benefits, doing something that doesn’t even need to be done anyway.

“Shovel-ready jobs”? The only thing I see being shoveled is…well, I think you get the picture.

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